Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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