He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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