No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
