i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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