hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
