I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
