That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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