if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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