Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
