Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
