Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
