he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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