Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
