It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just invented taco cereal.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
