It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
