Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
