The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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