i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize