so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
