I am puke
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Boobs are out for the taking
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
