Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
