She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize