if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
