operation harelip BJ is a go
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
