the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
