I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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