hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
