I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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