Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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