im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
