Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
