yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am midnight drunk by noon
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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