oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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