SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
