I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you had me at cake vodka
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize