he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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