Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
