wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
