no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't deserve a penis
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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