in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
