no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
