i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I see more hoeing in ur future
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