Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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