Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
