Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
