i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
