We won't sleep together?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
