Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
