Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
