I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize