it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize