Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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