Me too!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
