I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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