I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize