thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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