When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
third nipple confirmed
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
