You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
