I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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