I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
