I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
