I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize