Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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