He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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