I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
