Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
