do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dick very happy bro
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